Geek Style
50 Shades of Truth: Misrepresentation of BDSM
Published
10 years agoon
When people hear those letters what do they think? What do you the reader think?
BDSM has been misrepresented in a lot of different forms, books, movies, magazines you name it. So I have been called upon to set the record straight and talk about the misconceptions.
What is it about then?
here has always been miscommunication about the lifestyle, like 50 Shades of Grey, which depicts more about rape culture that it does about BDSM. For an accurate account of a BDSM relationship, watch The Secretary, a beautiful romance about two awkward people who are looking for something that is perfect for them, what really makes their relationship click.
BDSM is not an anti-feminist movement. In fact there are many Mistresses and Dommes in the community. All are respected as equals, unless they do not wish to be.
I often hear, or read about submissives having mental disorders, and that’s why they like to be “abused”. It’s actually the opposite. A lot of Masters/Mistresses Dom/Dommes require their sub/slave to be mentally sound before any type of play, and a lot of people, like I, cannot even engage in play unless they are mentally sound.
In fact, the majority follows specific rules and regulations for going about their desires, as I will explain later in this article, but first and foremost let’s break down those letters and tell you a little about what they mean.
B
The B, in BDSM stands for Bondage, but what exactly is bondage? Usually there are at least two people involved in a bondage scene, the one being bound and the one doing the binding. So first off, why would anyone want to be bound by anything at all? What a good question, so let’s talk about that for a minute.
There are numerous reasons why someone would like to be bound. Sometimes the feeling of not having control over a certain situation gives people a thrill, for example: Say there is a woman who is a CEO in a business. She is in control of everything in her daily life and maybe sometimes she just wants that loss of control for a small amount of time. Control and loss of control has a lot to do with BDSM. When bound, the sub/slave is able to feel that lack of control. It’s akin to adrenaline junkies. However, like everything with BDSM, bondage must be done with someone you trust explicitly because being bound is an extremely vulnerable position to be in, which also explains the use of safe words.
D
The D in BDSM means Dominance often referred to as a Dom in the male sense, Domme in the female sense, or simply Dominant in the unisex sense. Doms, Dommes and/or Dominants like to…can you guess? That’s right, be Dominant over another. Dominants like the power it gives them, it can give them an added sexual thrill, but most likely Dominants are Alphas in their everyday lives, in control and in charge. They feel most comfortable when they are in control of everything around them, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. Much like a Master, which we will discuss later, a Dominant’s job is to guide their submissive, and help them through life’s difficult challenges, to help them grow and learn as people.
S
Okay this is where it can get complicated. S in BDSM stands for submissive and slave. There is a very big difference between the two, and people often confuse them. Submissives have a say in what goes on concerning them, and slaves do not. Submissives have safety words and slaves generally don’t. That does not necessarily mean that slaves are powerless, a lot of the time slaves are given leave to discuss things with their Master, and the Master thinks about the repercussions of what he chooses to do.
The S in BDSM also stands for Sadist, a frequently misdefined word. The definition for sadist is: someone who obtains pleasure from inflicting pain on others. In BDSM, this can frequently refer to spanking, but can also refer to nothing physical. Denying their masochist something they desperately want, such an as orgasm, is also pleasurable for a sadist.
M
The M in BDSM stands for Master, as well as Masochist. A Master is someone who has complete control over another, such as a slave. They are responsible for their mental and physical well being. It is a great responsibility, just as being a slave is a great responsibility. Slaves need to be selfless; Masters wise and understanding with vast knowledge of what their slaves’ minds are like.
Masochists are people who enjoy pain, and no, that does not mean they were abused in the past. No, that does not mean they have mental issues. A Masochist could be anyone, your friend, your neighbor, a member of your family.
Now that I have explained a little bit more about what BDSM means, let’s discuss it in more detail.
Rules and Regulations
The lifestyle, as we are going to refer to it from now on, is not just about sex. However there are great number of people are actually in it for sex and only sex, couples who want to spice up their sex life, or people who want to have random kinky sex with other random kinky people, but this type of couple is referred to as “kinksters”, not lifestylers.
A lifestyler is someone who either practices the lifestyle 24-7, or most of the time with days off. People in this particular lifestyle tend to follow a strict set of codes. Some of the guidelines are SSC and RACK. SSC means Safe, Sane, and Consensual. RACK means Risk Aware, Consensual Kink.
Safe, Sane and Consensual is just as it sounds. They use safe words, and make sure everyone is sober, in their right mind, and everyone wants to be there in the first place.
Risk Aware, Consensual Kink, means you are aware of the risks of bodily harm, they may or may not use safe words and like to push past peoples limits, but again everyone makes sure that it is completely consensual.
If you ever meet someone in the lifestyle, there’s a huge possibility that you would never know it. Being in the lifestyle does not mean you dress a particular way, or act a particular way. It does not mean that you are a slut, or a whore (unless you want to be called that), but what it does mean is that you are an open-minded individual. A person someone could confide their fantasies in, sexual or otherwise, without fear of being judged. These people are not bad people, as some would have it. They are not weirdoes, or Satanists. Just because they are in the lifestyle does not necessarily mean they have orgies. A dynamic requires a lot of trust, understanding, and knowledge about your partner. It can also require a lot of love, and forgiveness and always, as with every relationship, a ton of communication.
Myths
1. You were abused as a child, sexually, physically or mentally.
Mental, sexual and physical abuse is a touchy subject, and while a small minority of people in the community have been abused in the past, this is not true for the majority. A great many lifestylers are mentally sound
2. If you are a Dominant/Master you are generally a huge ass and have a self-inflated ego.
There are men out there like that on both sides of the street, but generally, no. A Dominant/Master has a very defined role to play, and being a giant ass to everyone you meet is one way to make submissive women want to run the other way.
3. If you are submissive, you are a door mat, people walk all over you, you have no will or courage nor a mind of your own, and you do what you are told and nothing more.
Contrary to this misconception, submissives have minds of their own, can have strong wills and are just as courageous as a Dominant.
4. The BDSM lifestyle and children do not go together.
This is another controversial topic, but let’s touch on it here. So there are people in the lifestyle who have kids, and I am among them, however just like making out with your husband in front of your children is a bad idea, so is play time. Whatever behavior is going on at home, your child will emulate, I have already had a problem with my eldest son (4) calling himself Master. So we try to refrain from saying stuff like that in front of him. Whenever he says it I say….of Karate? (He really likes SpongeBob) But it is very possible to live this lifestyle 24-7 AND have kids, you just have to be careful about it.
5. Being a Dominant means you hate women, and the BDSM lifestyle in general is sexist and anti-woman.
Okay, SO not true, this is one of the more ridiculous myths of BDSM. There are women Dominants out there, quite a few actually, and they are just as respected as the male Dominants. The question of women being equal is not even discussed in the BDSM community. Now, if we were talking about the Gorean lifestyle that would be a different story, but BDSM and Gor are not one and the same.
6. Being a submissive means you hate yourself.
Being a submissive and submitting to someone else’s will is an expression of love for that person, not an expression of hatred for oneself. Submissives grow and flourish underneath the care of a Dominant, because the Dominant challenges the submissive to go outside their comfort zone and try new things, and I am not talking about fetishes here. For instance, if a submissive is super shy, the Dominant would try to open her/him up a little bit and get them to interact with people.
7. There is something wrong with you because you do this, and no healthy normal person would.
What is normal? Whatever is normal for you, that is what normal is. There is no defined definition of normal that makes no sense. Just because someone is into something that not everyone is, does not mean they are strange, unhealthy and “Abnormal”.
8. In order to get someone to submit to you, you just have to Dominante them right off the bat, and abuse them as much as you can/want.
Absolutely not. I cannot tell you how disgusted I am with that thought, just typing it on the computer. The dynamic between a Dominant and a Submissive is based on a strong foundation of trust and respect for one another. Both individuals need to know each other well for the relationship to function properly. BDSM takes a lot of communication to maintain.
The Dom’s perspective
Jessica is a 28 year old poly slave and housewife, she lives in sacramento california with her two sons, her husband and her girlfriend. When she is not writing for Odd Tale Studios, she enjoys various types of gaming, manga, anime, reading, writing and drawing
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Geek Style
Black Panther Unapologetically Black
Is Black Panther the first mainstream bigscreen black superhero ? Yes, yes he is.
Published
7 years agoon
February 23, 2018Wakanda Forever
Warning: This contains major spoilers
Is Black Panther the first mainstream bigscreen black superhero ? Yes, yes he is. “But what about Blade, Blankman, Meteor Man and Hancock?” I hear you say. Well, let’s get the easy stuff out of the way. I said, “Big budget blockbuster.” So let’s look at the numbers:
Blankman- $30 million (estimated)
Meteor Man – $30 million
Blade $45 million
Blade 2 $55 million
Blade 3 $64 million
Hancock $150 million
Well, if you consider the year each movie came out, they’re all on the higher end of the budget scale for a film made in the US.
Wait, did I just disprove my own argument? No, of course not.
Blank Man and Meteor are more satirical looks at the superhero genre and can be considered parodies. Would you actually consider the Scary movie series as horror films? No, you wouldn’t.
Then there’s Blade. Does he even count as a superhero? He kinda blurs the lines a bit, doesn’t he? He saves people and has powers, has a movie series that does well and he’s black. Is he the first Black superhero? Yes, I think he is. So you’re wondering how, then does Black Panther also gets that title. To answer that I have to explain something to you. I have to tell you a bit about black culture.
I can already see you rolling yo’ damn eyes in the back of your head.
Skin color doesn’t matter, at least it shouldn’t. But what does matters is a person’s culture. And each race has its own culture for better or for worse. Black culture is something that has been largely ignored by mainstream films. It’s been mocked, satirized but hardly ever dealt with. Because believe it or not black culture is more than just the comedic relief characters, making jokes about how they like white women and big booty hoes.
One of the first shots you see in Black Panther is a group of slaves being lead on a boat in the opening credits. Wait, what? Did a Superhero film acknowledge slavery? Slavery is a touchy subject to put it lightly. Most movies avoid the subject altogether let alone to show it, even briefly. From there, the film opens in Oakland, California. Why is that significant? Well in 1966, the Black Panther political party’s main mission was citizens’ patrols to monitor the behavior of officers of the Oakland Police Department and challenge police brutality in Oakland. Now, mention the Black Panthers and you’ll have at least 5 people say they were a violent militant racist group. I mean, it’s not like it was 1960’s America and black people were being killed in their sleep or anything. This is a parallel most movies would avoid making, especially in today’s political climate. The film further drives this home with N’Jobu’s line, “Our people are over policed and over incarcerated.” If someone says that in an open forum on the internet, I guarantee they’ll end up fighting 50 different people and yet here it is in superhero film.
It’s no lie there’s tension between police and the black community, and it’s considered a “taboo” topic, despite being the reality for many of us.
That tension is not something just simply mentioned and brushed aside, it’s the core conflict of the film.
T’Challa and Killmonger represent opposite but equally dangerous extremes of this conflict. T’challa sees his people and others suffer and does nothing while as Killmonger sees his people needing help and becomes an extremist.
By the end, a defeated and mortally wounded Killmonger declines T’challa’s offer of medical help, giving another poignant line that I was surprised to hear in a superhero film: “Why? So you can lock me up? No, throw me into the ocean with my ancestors because they knew it was better to die free than to live in bondage”. T’challa realizes the error of his ways inadvertently in part to Killmonger. T’challa realizes that he agrees with Killmonger, even if he doesn’t agree with his methods. So the movie comes full circle and ends where it began in Oakland were T’challa vows to build an outreach center to help his people and others.
To see these issues on screen in a superhero film and fully represented was groundbreaking. Black Panther in a lot ways wasn’t just a superhero film, it was a celebration of black culture, simply because it acknowledged a lot of issues people of color go through. Black culture was even represented in small ways, such as Killmonger’s snarky yet sassy, “Hey auntie.” It may sound stupid to you, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard myself, cousins, friends and others say it exactly how he did. Not saying blacks people are the only ones who say that, but I can assure you that it was represented was very familiar.
All these things combined put Black Panther further and beyond other films that have had black actors starring in the lead role, not to take anything from those movies or those actors. Each of them were groundbreaking in their own ways. But this was something different.
Seeing how everyone was represented on film without being stereotypical was amazing. Not since Arnold Schwarzenegger at the end of Total Recall, has a breath of fresh air been needed more. The women were smart, independent and strong. The men were intelligent and loving. Black people were represented as being normal, while addressing major cultural issues. That’s impressive.
To see a black hero on screen, and to see them say, “Hey, I see these issues you’re going through and I’m here to make them better,” is a powerful thing that I didn’t even know I needed. I know T’challa isn’t real, but how many times have you been in a situation and asked yourself, “What would Superman do?” Now millions of black geeks can do that with a hero who addresses issues that affect them. Bad things happen, and sadly these things are a reality. However, movies like Black Panther send a message to us not to let those bad things turn us into Killmongers (pun so intended), but to be a T’challa helping your people and helping others.
So, to answer my original question: How is Black Panther the first mainstream bigscreen black superhero ? Well, there may have been other preceding heros who were black (still not entirely convinced Blade counts as a “Superhero” but that an article for another day and I’m splitting hairs), and they deserve credit for paving the way. Black Panther may not have been the first Superhero on the big screen that happened to be black, he was, however, the first mainstream bigscreen superhero for black people.
If you disagree with me, that’s fine, but hopefully you see where I’m coming from. I know there will be less than open-minded comments on this article, and to be completely honest with you, I was afraid to write it. But then I thought, “What would Black Panther do?” #Wakkandaforever
Geek Style
Cosplay. The Meaning. The Impact. The Life Changer.
Published
8 years agoon
March 30, 2017By
Liz ShepherdCosplay is a hobby that holds many different meanings. It gives people the opportunity to dress up as their favorite fictional characters. It allows for creativity and individuality through expression. Whether you make or buy them, the costumes you wear become your children. They become a part of who you are.
For this story, I decided to focus on how the cosplay culture has influenced and changed cosplayers. I interviewed several cosplayers on what cosplay itself means, and it’s amazing how a hobby can have such an impact on people around the world. Here are their stories on what cosplay means to them, and how it has changed their lives.
At first, I didn’t think cosplay would be any more than just a hobby, that it was nothing special. But then, after meeting the people I call my best friends, that changed. I had no idea that cosplay could bring people so close together. Not only was it fun, but it’s heartwarming. I used to be so lonely and thought that I would never have an amazing group of friends that I have today, and it’s all because I decided to go to a con. One year later, and cosplay is one of my absolute favorite things to do, and I’m so, so happy that I’ve stuck with it this whole time.
Cosplay means being able to dress like a character and being able to feel more for that character.
To be honest, cosplay is a big part of my life. It’s how I’ve met so many wonderful and amazing people. It’s helped me be more open, and be a little more comfortable in my body. Even if I can’t do it regularly here in Japan, it’s still a part of me.
Cosplay means so many things to me. It means that my life has a meaning and a happy aspect to it. It means feeling proud to wear something I have worked so hard on. It means meeting new people and making new friends, breaking out of my shell because when I am in cosplay I am myself.
Cosplay to me means finding friends in complete strangers. It makes it super easy to reach out to others about some form of pop culture. I also see it as a way to express myself through different characters! I get to be someone else for a day and others will recognize me and interact with me as such.
Cosplay means dressing up and pretending to be someone you aren’t. It’s a time to escape the stress of life and forget sorrow. I am normally shy but when I cosplay I’m not shy and I can make friends with people I normally would avoid.
What cosplay means to me is being able to dress up as my favorite characters and being able to get out of my shell for a few hours to days at a con while I cosplay. When I first started to cosplay I did not know any of my cosplay friends that I have now, and I was super shy. While I have been cosplaying I have made so many friends. I joined a cosplay group with my friends, I was part of a cosplay charity group. I got out of my shell, and even started to run panels which in a million years I would have never done if it wasn’t for cosplaying. I have got to do something that I always loved to do to help myself get out of my shell and make new friends in this crazy little thing called cosplay. Even though my cosplays are not accurate in any way, I still love the way that I cosplay by seeing a character and making it my own. The outfit above is my masquerade Harley Quinn. The reason why I chose this cosplay is because Harley Quinn is my all time favorite female DC villain and I made this my own design.
Cosplay can mean a lot of things. For me it’s very special. Cosplay means to get out of your comfort zone. Bring a character you love to life. Having fun with others and being more confident. It’s about having fun and letting your worries disappear even if for a moment. Cosplay has changed my life in a few ways. Being able to bring a character to life brings me joy and it boosts my self-esteem. If it wasn’t for cosplay, I wouldn’t have met some of my best friends. It gives me a place to be creative and to have fun. But it doesn’t just change my life. It’s changed some of the people I encountered as well. Cosplay really helps me come out and not be as shy as I usually am.
Cosplay is one of my many creative outlets. I’m an artist and I love expressing myself in a variety of ways and one of my means of doing so is through cosplay. It’s changed the way I approach and communicate with other people. I’ve become more outgoing, friendly and I love sharing what I’ve learned over the years with others in hopes that it’ll help them along their journey too.
Cosplay to me is similar to being really into video games or movies. It’s something you enjoy and you express yourself through it. It’s really helped my self image and love of myself and I really feel like I can express myself more freely without fear of backlash.
Honestly, cosplay means everything to me. It’s been my hobby since 2008 (I was maybe 12). Not only have I made great friends through cosplay, but it has helped me “grow up” in a way. I’ve learned how to be more self confident as a person. As I’ve aged, I used to be extremely self conscious of myself. Now, I love who I am, what my body looks like, and I’ve become a strong adult. When I cosplay, I usually chose characters who I aspire to be like. My favorite character is Korra, from the “Avatar: Legend of Korra” series. She’s a strong character who has overcome depression, anxiety, and PTSD, just like me. We’re both also in the LGBTQ+ community. She’s the most positive representation I’ve seen for LGBTQ+ identified characters, so it was a no brainer for me to cosplay her.
Facebook – Elemental Cosplay; Instagram – @elementalcosplay; Tumblr -elementalcosplay.tumblr.com
For me, cosplay has opened me up as a person. Because of cosplay I have made many amazing friends and that means a lot to me. The cosplay world has molded me into what I am today.
Cosplay, to me, means happiness. It is one of the few things that truly brings me such great joy. It has proven time and time again that things can change, be reshaped, remade, into something better and something even more beautiful. It has taught me patience, both with the outside world, and with myself. I’ve become more comfortable with who I am in terms of my nerdiness and in terms of my body and personality. I’m slowly becoming the person I wanted to be when I was a kid. I’ve become a very different person than I was all those years ago. I’m now able to hold conversations with people instead of keeping to the corners. I can laugh and enjoy things and not feel like I have to hide myself in my room and behind books. But most importantly, I’ve made the greatest family I could ever ask for in the strangers I have met. This hobby has saved my life, in many more ways than I could ever recount. I hope that everyone may one day find what brings them happiness and be able to revel in it each and every day, like I’m starting to.
Tsumi Hikari Cosplay
Cosplay means a lot more, but it may sound cliché to just leave it at that. I grew up making art, and one of the memories I treasured is sewing with just needle and thread. I watched cosplay groups such as Fighting Dreamers Production and NYAH Pro as entertainment, but individuals such as Twin Fools, Uptown Cosplay, MangoSirene, and so many of my friends have kept me inspired! After buying my first cosplay online—an ‘Ouran High School Host Club’ cosplay—I knew it was time to go back to basics. I Goodwilled for a while and continued using needle and thread, but after my best friend and I received our first sewing machine, I tried my best to self-teach myself how to use one when I wasn’t in college classes and one of my two jobs. I started making bags and small fixes on clothes. In 2015, I decided to compete in the Anime Crossroads 2016 cosplay contest as Emilia the Hero from the anime ‘The Devil is a Part Timer’. I wrote tutorials from YouTube videos in between classes and homework sessions, used a lot of JoAnn coupons to buy fabric, thread, elastic, and new sewing supplies. Every month until the convention, I was building onto the costume without a mannequin and relied on my mirror and selfies. I bought the wig last minute, but thankfully it arrived on time to cut and style—and that was a really long 80 cm red wig! I didn’t win and neither did my best friend who competed in her Super Hero! Hiro Hamada from ‘Big Hero 6’, but we were so happy that we did it together when our friends thought it put a strain on our friendship. I continued my passion to put together Marinette Dupain-Cheng from ‘Miraculous Ladybug’ for Ramencon 2016, and Haurka Nanami from ‘Uta no Prince Sama’ for Anime Crossroads 2017. I competed in contests at Kokomo-Con a few times but didn’t win. I accomplished my goal for hosting my first panel—a ‘Big Hero 6’ panel at Anime Crossroads 2016. One of the goals I accomplished was traveling to Anime Central after my college graduation, and I fell in love with everyone’s cosplays! So much talent! I cried during the contest because everyone was amazing in cosplay! So what does cosplay mean to me? I taught myself so many things that I try to share with everyone. I was asked for tutorials for my Marinette cosplay on one of the Amino communities. Friends ask me to be in panels and ask for help with fabric dyeing, sewing, and painting. I have always believed that you should work for something that makes you happy…even if it’s a hobby. Cosplay had made me the happiest person in a long time that it’s a stress relief as I work at the sewing machine for the next cosplay. I struggle with depression, and when my family thought it was weird of me to design costumes from anime, movies, manga, etc, I believe they accepted how I grew as a person by making costumes, hosting and participating in panels, going to meet ups, and being asked for help with a piece of a costume. I will always go to the cosplay contest of every con I go to support my friends, and remember to take a lot of pictures and selfies before the end of a refreshing weekend. I am still improving my skills in make-up, posing in photoshoots, and even sewing. Remember when I said that all I had was needle and thread to start with for sewing? I begged my family for my grandmother’s sewing box that have been used for generations when she passed; and now that I live on my own with roommates who cosplay, my grandmother’s sewing box will be on the top of my inspiration list—even though I haven’t used a needle or thread from the box.
To me, cosplay is a mix of a lot of things. My cosplays tend to involve an item that covers my face. I don’t much like having people see my face because I get really self aware so most of my stuff is centered around masks or helmets. All this means that I make a lot of armor so I spend a lot of time working on them. Besides working on cosplays I enjoy spending time with the friends I’ve made since starting to cosplay. And cosplay has really had a positive impact on my life. It’s helped me be more social and outgoing when around people I don’t know. It’s also helped me with my time management skills and I’ve built up a fair number of skills from making cosplays.
Cosplay to me is a wonderful process of bringing characters that I am passionate about to life and sharing my portrayals with the world. As someone who loves popular culture and acting, the whole idea as well as the wide variety of portrayals you see of characters and how creative some people can be is just very special to me.
When I was in high school, I was a very awkward and introverted kid but cosplaying over the years has really helped me grow as a person and become much more outgoing, which has led to me meeting several new people, some of which have become some of my closest friends. I think my confidence has really come a long way when I consider that I now cosplay as characters that “high school me” would never be comfortable portraying like Marshall Lee (Adventure Time) and Neptune Vasilias (RWBY).
To me it means that I can be anyone I want to be and I don’t have to live in the fishbowl that comes with the territory of being a teacher. I can be a badass and not get judged because no one knows who I am. I get compliments on how I look and everyone wants my picture. You feel like a celebrity for a weekend. It’s an amazing feeling to be noticed and inspire others to be anyone they want to be and not to be scared to achieve it. I also have met some wonderful and amazing people along the way too. They have became some of my best friends that I could ever ask for. I think that’s the other side of cosplay that many don’t see. They don’t realize how great the community is because of how easy it is to make friends and stay friends with almost anyone you meet.
Cosplay means that I’m able to be my unique self and dress up as my favorite characters. It’s changed my life in many ways. One of them is helping me step out of my shell. Cosplay has allowed me to actually make friends who are exactly like me and like the same things I do and that’s why I cosplay so I can be myself and not be judged.
To me, cosplay gives me a bit more confidence to branch out and talk to people. I’m usually a pretty shy person, so it gives me the chance to break out of my shell and find people who have the same interests that I do. Without cosplaying and conventions, I wouldn’t have met some of my best friends.
Cosplay to me means loving either a video game or TV show or movie character so much that you take the time to create and transform yourself into that character. Cosplay has changed my life by helping me to become more self loving and to realize that it’s okay to be different as long as you are staying true to yourself. It has also helped me to want to experiment more with different art forms.
Cosplay means creativity, and is an outlet for self expression. Cosplay brings people together, and that I think is what is really important.
Cosplay means a lot to me. It helped me get through a lot of rough spots in my life. I think it’s gone from being just a hobby to being a part of my life.
Cosplay, to me, means happiness. Through cosplay I’ve met SO MANY amazing people and made such great friends that I know will stay with me forever. Cosplaying can be tiring sometimes and yes, it does take all my money, but it is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. No matter how tired I am, or how upset I’m feeling with life in general, I know I can change into some character and be someone else for a day. I know I’ll get to the con and meet my friends, and we’re gonna have a great time. The feeling of changing, becoming someone else and rocking it is just amazing. When you post a picture of that costume you spent endless nights working on and everyone is just like “Wow! Amazing”, that is priceless. Having your hard work recognized, feeling good about yourself… this is something everyone should try.
Sometimes we have our bad days. I, myself, have never been the type of girl with the best self-esteem, and cosplay helped me overcome my fears, my own self-judging. I now feel better about myself, and I know I can be whoever I want to be and do whatever I want to do. There is no limit, and that’s something I only found out after I started cosplaying. I couldn’t imagine my life without cosplay. This has become too huge and important to me. It really changed my life, for good. And I always recommend everyone to join us in this amazing community! I truly, deeply believe that cosplay is for EVERYONE. No matter your size, gender, color, or whatever! Just DO IT! Do it for YOU, for your own good, for your own self-esteem. Wearing a cosplay is one of the best experiences I’ve ever had, and that’s why I love it so much!
To us cosplay is the celebration of a fandom through putting on a costume to embody a character for a day. It’s an artistic expression which can include anything from creation of a costume to roleplaying a character.
Being able to become a different character has allowed us to open up more (we used to be extreme introverts – like seriously wouldn’t talk to anybody). Cosplay has given us the courage to do things such as public speaking in front of a large panel/workshop. Additionally it’s a creative outlet for us and the thought of completing a cosplay and finally wearing it pushes us to constantly improve upon our artistic abilities. Putting on a costume gives us confidence and allows us to be someone else even if it’s just for a day.
Cosplay to me means so much! It is literally my entire life now and I don’t know what I would do without it. I’ve been cosplaying for so long, 90% of my friends are from this community. Cosplay to me means being able to finally express myself in ways I never thought I could. It’s a way to show off talent and be proud of yourself! It’s about finding passion and inspiration to better yourself as an artist. Always strive for the best in life and never give up.
Cosplay to me is a way of taking a break from everything I’m obligated to do on a daily basis. Everyone works day to day, pay bills, and lead stereotypical lives necessary to simply exist in society. Cosplay is a way to breach that wall of obligation, to inspire individuality and to become the characters you look up to or find comfort in. It has made growing into my own person much easier. Not because I couldn’t have done it on my own, but because having this outlet of creativity gave me a way to let my personality thrive.
I can’t remember any moment in my life when I didn’t want to be an artist, whether that be painting, writing, music, but I never expected I’d ever make costumes. Growing up I was always made to feel bad about my appearance, so I ended up hating my face and having photos taken. At my first convention 3 years ago I entered into this new environment that I’d been searching for; it was something that filled the gap of all the teenage years I’d missed out on. It wasn’t just wearing a strange outfit; it was the con atmosphere, the music, and seeing a variety of people with different interests and skills. It’s crazy how much fun you can have with just a group of people in costumes and a camera. I had only planned to attend a couple of cons in one costume, but for some reason, this desire to start making new characters sprouted in me, and as time went by I wanted to make more challenging things and completely transform myself. After my first few cons I booked my first photoshoots as my confidence with my appearance began to grow. And over a year in I decided to try out the competitions. I was wearing a character that was my first attempt at facial hair and heavy makeup, and for the first time I looked at the photos of myself and thought “Wow. I look nice.” Competing helped me face my anxieties and let me unleash the confidence I’ve had trapped down within me for so long. And when I was told I won a prize I also finally felt proud of myself, and then I wanted to compete more. But competing isn’t just about the winning; it’s about having that underlying drive to put high amounts of hard work into a costume, and spending hours coming up with a performance that will entertain the audience. I try to encourage competing (even though it’s getting frowned upon) because it’s nice to see people dedicated and determined when working on something. And if an anxious person can get on stage in a costume, then maybe they’ll be confident enough to walk into an interview in a suit, or speak in front of an audience. As I was someone who never knew who they were, cosplay allowed me to be anything I wanted to be. I could be a dwarf king, a god, a mighty khal, or maybe a cursed beast. And it’s also allowed me to go on a new path in my career. I was very unsure about what I was doing in college, but cosplay has sparked an interest in prop making and set design, and that also helps motivate me to make more challenging characters. I also wanted my body to be more accurate and in shape, so I got a gym membership and train all the time. That’s led me to feel more confident with my body. Two years in, I met her. My Khaleesi, my soulmate. It was at my first (and only so far) international con: Hobbitcon 2016. One of my deepest desires was to just find someone who needs me just as I need them, and I didn’t expect it to happen in a little con in the middle of Germany. And her love for me also helped me love myself, as I used to have such high self-loathing. Right now our relationship revolves around the cons (long distance at the moment) so the cosplaying itself has changed a bit. We try and do character couples and let our chemistry flow out during shoots and stage performances. Having formed a relationship with her means that my future now looks more stable and brighter. She has this way of getting me to improve myself without bringing down my esteem in the process. She’s helped me finally grow and taught me how to handle myself and situations better, and I absolutely love her for that. I struggle to part with my costumes because behind each one there is a story, no matter how big or small. Some of the characters I chose are because I either relate to them or they have a trait that I desire, for example, confidence. There have been so many things I’ve put myself through just for a good costume; training, sleepless nights, burns, etc. It’s kind of crazy how much we put ourselves through for just a few moments of greatness. But if cosplayers appreciate the details in their work, then maybe they can end up learning to appreciate the detail in the world around them. One thing I’ve learnt from this is that it’s okay to want what you want. Some people want just a chill time, some want to compete, and others might want to do commissions. And any ambition in this is fine, as long as you’re bringing positive things into cosplay.
Cosplay means freedom to be whatever you want to be! A huntsman? Monster? Vampire hunter? It allows you to be anything and it means it is also an opportunity to form new friendships with others. It has allowed me to come out of my shell more and make new friends. Cosplay has brought so much joy to my life and I can’t imagine not doing it anymore!
I think cosplay has changed my life in more ways than one. Without cosplay, I wouldn’t have the confidence I do now to do what I love. I would have never met my friends, and find a new light in my life. I started cosplay when I was at a dark point in my life, and it was something I did to keep my mind off of the negatives. I think cosplay helps skills such as social, handiwork, and patience! I could go on forever, but that’s what cosplay means to me!
Cosplay means creativity, hard work, fun, and community to me. It takes creativity to create the crazy outfits these characters wear, and it takes hard work to have it all come together. Cosplay is, above all else, meant to be fun. If it’s not fun, why bother? It’s also about community, and how we all come together to cosplay.
I’d say that cosplay has definitely made my life better. It’s a wonderful creative outlet for me! I love to sew, do wigs, makeup, and just become the character. It gives me something to be proud of, and it gives me a way to showcase my talents. I’d say the biggest thing is the sense of community it provides. I’ve made a lot of friends through cosplay! It’s so cool to see people from all over the world participate in the same hobby. It’s really cool and makes the world feel a little smaller.
Cosplay to me simply means unlimited expression. For me, cosplay has allowed me to express myself not only as an artist and entertainer but also as a humanitarian.
Cosplay is just fun. It’s like a blend between being an actor and just dressing up. Because it is more than just dressing up—like, a whole other level—but less than acting because there’s no pressure to be fully in character 100% of the time. But when you are in character then it’s even better for the people around you. I cannot tell you how many times people who were already excited about seeing a Moogle, got even more excited when I said in my Moogle voice, “Hiya, kupo!” It’s exciting to do, it’s exciting to see, and the reactions are usually amazing, from myself and others. It’s one part of the great break from reality that are cons and a way to show off your love for a character, a fandom, and interact with similar-minded people. It’s changed the way I look at ordinary things. I file things away I find on the internet, search for certain clothes, or collect certain items that I think will be useful for one of my current or planned cosplays. But beyond that, cosplaying is part of the con experience for me. I’ve only gone completely out of cosplay once and I didn’t have nearly as much fun. From what I’ve noticed, cosplay makes someone part of the con, rather than just an attendee.
Cosplay is for me a very creative way of escaping from the everyday life. It helps me stay focused and motivated, it gives me goals and challenges. It feels amazing to accomplish something you’ve been working on for months. Cosplay helped me improve my self-confidence issues and social anxiety. And it’s still helping today. It’s an opportunity to travel, meet new people, make new friends and learn from others. I used to be a very shy and introverted person, and now I know people from across the globe!
To me cosplay is a creative way to share my love of characters with other people who love the same things as I do. It has changed my life by giving me a creative outlet to express myself through which I have met lifelong friends.
Cosplay to me is so many wonderful things. It’s art, fashion, learning, drawing, painting, crafts, and so much more. It’s weird, fun, accepting, and exciting. I’ve been cosplaying since 2009/2010 because of how much fun it is. I could go on and on about what cosplay is to me, but lately it’s really been a learning experience for me. I just made my first armor build along with making any kind of clothing from scratch last month (Pyrrha Nikos from RWBY if you care). I’ve only been making cosplays since July of 2016 (I’d buy them all prior to this). Getting to learn all the new techniques along with getting to use old ones I haven’t in so long really brings it all together. Don’t be afraid to be a beginner. Don’t be afraid to go outside of the box when creating a cosplay. Do things that most people wouldn’t think of while making a cosplay. Cosplay is a way to use and gain skills and be able to share your work and progress with a very kind and open society that is the cosplay world. Cosplay has changed my life in so many ways. The first way would have to be that it has given me so much confidence in myself. Being a plus size woman made it very hard for me to see myself as beautiful due to society’s standards of beauty. Cosplay made it easy for me to come out of my shell and really be confident in how I look. I look back and I think to myself a lot on how back then I never would have thought to cosplay as some of the characters I do now (mainly because of the showy outfits). Cosplay has really made me love my body and love myself a lot more than I did before I found cosplay. The other main reason it has changed my life would be that I have made so many friendships because of cosplay and conventions. These friendships are amazing and honestly have lasted longer than a majority of my high school relationships (graduated in 2015). Cosplay has made it so easy just to talk to people and to make friends. It’s nice because you know you already have multiple common interests (a show or fandom, cosplay, convention going, etc.), so it’s pretty nice for the socially awkward, a.k.a me. I have made friendships that I believe will last a lifetime because of cosplay. In the end cosplay is a fun and confidence boosting way to love yourself and make friendships that will last a lifetime.
Cosplay has a huge meaning in my life. It is difficult to use so many skills in our daily lives and cosplay allows me to raise my creativity to the maximum, besides allowing me to be who I want, even for a day. It’s inspiring to know that there are no limits to our dreams when we talk about cosplay.
Cosplay is for the cosplayed. It’s not about what other people want, it’s what YOU want. What it is for me could be different from what it is to someone else. To me, however, cosplay is something I do that allows me an amount of freedom that I don’t actually have in everyday life.
For me, cosplay means a lot. It’s a brief escape from reality, it’s an open door to meet new people, and it’s a way to express my interests. Cosplay has really helped me get over my social anxiety. I’m now able to start conversations with total strangers, and not be afraid to ask questions and take pictures with other cosplayers. It has been a very positive influence in my life, and I am incredibly grateful for that.
International Women’s Day
Intern Liz’s top women in anime and gaming
In celebration of International Women’s Day, I decided to write about females in video games and anime. So in no particular order, here’s some of my favorites!
1. Aqua – Kingdom Hearts
When I first started playing ‘Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep’, Aqua immediately became my favorite out of the main trio. She’s kind, strong, and fearless. Also, she’s definitely the “mom” friend, which is not a bad thing at all! Aqua is always looking out for Terra and Ven, wanting what’s best for them. She deserves all qthe happiness in the world, but what does she get instead? She gets trapped in the Realm of Darkness. If Aqua doesn’t get a happy ending in Kingdom Hearts III, I’m fighting Square Enix.
2. Chihiro Ogino – Spirited Away
I love ‘Spirited Away’ for many reasons, one being Chihiro. She is a protagonist that grows so much in the film. Chihiro progresses from whiny and spoiled to mature and caring. She always wants to help others, especially those close to her, and Chihiro takes many risks while doing so. Even though there’s so many strange things in this mysterious bathhouse, Chihiro remains strong.
3. Weiss Schnee – RWBY
Let’s face it. If I could, I would add every female character from ‘RWBY’ onto this list. But I’ll make it easy. I’ll only put one. Weiss Schnee has grown from my least favorite character in ‘RWBY’ to one of my most beloved. She has become a defiant and headstrong woman who wants to save the world, and guess what? She’s not going to let anyone stop her. Show your jerk of a father who’s boss!
4. Asuna Yuuki – Sword Art Online
So let’s just pretend that the frickin’ fairy arc never happened. We’ll focus on the Aincrad arc. Asuna is skilled and powerful, but she’s also kind and motherly. Mess with Asuna or her close friends, and you’re in big trouble. She isn’t your stereotypical main love interest, as Asuna can defend and stand up for herself. Again, we’re ignoring the fairy thing here. Making her out to be the damsel in distress was not okay.
5. Bayonetta
Holy frick. Bayonetta is wicked cool. She’s seductive, sexy, and supernatural, which is a perfect combination. What’s not to love about a gun-toting witch who is incredibly powerful and has a great taste in fashion? Bayonetta really doesn’t care who’s out to get her. She will always have her fun by taking out the enemy in any way possible. Bayonetta is talented in many ways, so you don’t want to mess with her.
6. Sakura Haruno – Naruto
I’ll admit, Sakura is not my favorite female character from ‘Naruto’. But I’ll give her the credit she deserves. Sure, she’s still a bit annoying, but she has grown a lot since the beginning of the series. She’s as powerful as Tsunade, and she is ridiculously strong. You most definitely do not want to be on Sakura’s bad side. Even though I still question why she married Sasuke, I still love Sakura’s character development.
7. Tifa Lockhart – Final Fantasy VII
Tifa is far from the stereotypical female lead of a video game. She will take care of any problem with her fists. I do wish people would focus on her characterization, and not, well, her physical aspects. Tifa also has motherly aspects as well, caring for young orphans in ‘Advent Children’ and always showing compassion towards Cloud, even when he’s being a big jerk. Tifa is very powerful, and you don’t want to mess with her.
8. Touka Kirishima – Tokyo Ghoul
I love Touka because she’s come to terms with who she is as a person, or ghoul. Pick your poison. Even though she acts cold toward Kaneki, she’s always looking out for him and others, putting their well-being before her own. I am still curious to know more about her past, as well as what drives her to have the personality that she does.
9. Rem – Re:Zero
Emilia is best waifu. However, even though Emilia is my waifu, I’m putting Rem on here as a strong woman. Why? Well as the anime currently stands, she’s done a lot more for Subaru than Emilia really has. She’s helped him fight off the bad guys, and even when her love for the protagonist is rejected, Rem still stands strong. Rem is the best girl who will do anything for the ones she cares about.
10. Sophie Hatter – Howl’s Moving Castle
Studio Ghibli is well-known for its female protagonists, so it’s really difficult to not put too many on this list. But I definitely had to go with Sophie. She transforms from a shut-in hatter to an outgoing woman who gets the adventure she never knew she wanted. And she also gets the guy too, which is a nice bonus. Sophie has a mindset that allows her to control the wild beast that is Howl, and in the end, she plays a role in saving the world from complete destruction. That’s pretty cool.
11. Tanya Degurechaff – Saga of Tanya the Evil
Now some of you might call me out on this one and say, “But what about the reincarnation stuff?” Nope. Not relevant here. Tanya is by far one of the coolest characters I’ve come across in recent anime. She’s a feisty child who puts men in their places and severely punishes them if they screw up. Remember. Just because she looks like a small girl doesn’t mean it’s ponies and rainbows. It’s guns, explosions, and death.
12. Midna – The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Midna is an interesting character with quite the personality. At first, she takes the opportunity to force Link to help her, but in the end, they become the best of friends. Light and shadow, two opposing forces, come together in a really fun and cute game. I love Midna because of the lengths she goes to in order to rescue her kingdom and stop Ganondorf.
13. Kobayashi – Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid
Kobayashi is a simple and laidback character that I can relate to on a lot of levels. She’s always tired. Always working. And her back hurts. Sounds like me in a nutshell. But I like Kobayashi because her whole world gets turned upside down when she starts befriending dragons. However, she takes all of their crazy antics very well.
14. Lunafreya Nox Fleuret – Final Fantasy XV
I know, I know. She doesn’t get a lot of game time. I’m still waiting for them to announce Episode Luna, just for the mere fact that she’s more visible in the prequel movie than in the actual game. But from what we do know of Lunafreya, she is a stoic woman who is very focused on her duties as Oracle. She realizes the sacrifices she must make in order to help restore the world to what it must be.
15. Homura Akemi – Puella Magi Madoka Magica
What are you willing to do for your best friend? Will you buy them an ice cream? Go hang out them? Travel back in time over and over and over again to save them from death, only to fail, but you keep doing that because they’re your best friend and deep down we know there’s some romantic feelings being held back? In a nutshell, Homura Akemi. I think that says enough about what makes her a strong woman.
16. Nausicaa
I had to put Nausicaa on here. She’s too cool not to mention. ‘Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind’ is not really discussed in the ways of popular Studio Ghibli films, but it most definitely deserves to be popular. Even though Nausicaa is young, she’s unafraid of the crazy world around her, willing to explore every nook and cranny because of her curiosity. She’s also very kind, wanting to protect her people from the bad guys.
17. Xion – Kingdom Hearts
Xion is the character who I would say has made the most sacrifice out of anyone in the entire ‘Kingdom Hearts’ series. She gave up her very being, her existence, just to restore Sora back to the way he was meant to be. Nobody, not even her best friends, remember her. I have admired Xion for a long time because of her decision to “go back” to Sora and to give up everything she loves in order to make things right.
18. Hana – Wolf Children
Hana is a very strong mom character, in the literal sense. Raising kids isn’t easy in itself, but wolf children? As a single mom, Hana takes on a lot by herself, and she makes a lot of sacrifices all for the well-being of her kids. More than anything, Hana wants her children to find themselves and discover who they really want to be: human or wolf. Hana is a tough customer who always keeps a smile on her face, even in the worst of circumstances.
19. Pyrrha Nikos – RWBY
Ha ha, I pulled your leg, I put someone else from RWBY on here! After all, I have to mention Pyrrha. She’s strong, intelligent, and compassionate. Pyrrha wants what’s best for her teammates, even if that’s at the cost of her own well-being. She’s unafraid of anything, making the noble sacrifice of her own life in order to save Beacon Academy. Pyrrha is a sweetheart, and I admire her for her kindness and amazing talents.
20. Mikasa Ackerman – Attack on Titan
Mikasa has gone through a lot of crap in her life. But if she does suffer from any mental scarring because of that, she doesn’t let it show. Mikasa is a very skilled warrior, graduating at the top of her class. She’s also very protective, especially of Armin and Eren. Anyone messes with them, and she’ll throw you to a Titan for dinner.
So as you may have noticed in most of these examples, women are strong, protective, and motherly. Some may view being motherly as a negative trait, but it’s really not. It shows that the character is kind and is looking out for others, whether it’s their offspring or friends. Women are a force to be reckoned with. After all, if we can go through intensive labor to have kids, I think we can handle anything the world throws at us!
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