It came from space!
“The Illuminati. We aren’t talking about Masons or Templars here, and the Cage who might get involved is Luke, not Nicholas”
Before we get to the crossover events, it is time to bring in an important story element of Modern Marvel, one introduced early on (issue #7) in the New Avengers series I mentioned in the first installment of this series, and that is: The Illuminati. We aren’t talking about Masons or Templars here, and the Cage who might get involved is Luke, not Nicholas, but it is important to understanding the current storylines. There was once a war between the alien races known as the Kree and the Skrull, and Earth was caught in the middle as a strategic point. The Avengers defended the Earth from both sides, and afterwards, Iron Man brought together many of the leaders of Marvel’s major factions, creating a group called the Illuminati, whose goal was to link up all the groups so that they could info share, so as to help them avoid and combat major threats, and also to subtly guide the direction of the world. You may have realized that this group, originally comprised of Iron Man, Mr. Fantastic, Namor, Charles Xavier, Doctor Strange, and Black Bolt, are about to come into the spotlight. They are.
The Preamble:
Remember last column when I said Hulk missed Civil War because he was in space? Well, he is back, and MAN is he pissed off. Like, Hulk Smash the World level pissed.
World War Hulk
The Heroes: Hulk, who is both villain and hero of this series; his group of space buddies, called the Warbound; and the afore-listed members of the Illuminati are the main players on this stage, though most of the New York-based Marvel heroes show up in supporting roles (again excluding Thor, who is no longer dead, just living in Oklahoma, which I guess is marginally better).
The History: The Illuminati (particularly Reed Richards and Tony Stark) brainstormed a number of ways to improve the world. One was shooting the Hulk into space in a rocket. So they did that. Hulk’s rocket landed on an alien world where he spent a couple years fighting in arenas, leading a rebellion, and generally growing as a ma …Hulk. Then the rocket exploded, killing Hulk’s wife and unborn child. Hulk is, understandably, rather pissed, and has trucked his way BACK to Earth from this alien world, to layeth the smacketh down, as The Rock would say.
The Story:
Hulk arrives in New York City, and basically wheels around beating the living hell out of just about everyone the Marvel Universe can throw at him, until one hero, the Sentry, shows that he is willing to kill himself to unleash his full power and rage to stop Hulk hurting innocent people (not Tony, Tony is guilty as sin. Other people), and Hulk backs down, because despite how absolutely the Illuminati screwed him, he actually doesn’t want to kill anyone. Then to try to absolve the Illuminati of their guilt, it turns out that the rocket exploding was due to some bad guys on the alien world, aided by one of Hulk’s Warbound, who wanted him to go around destroying stuff instead of settling down to become a family ma ….Hulk. So that guy gets his ass beat instead.
The Verdict: Seriously, some of the fights in this are pretty epic, and it’s nice to see a story where the rampaging monster actually has every damn right to be pissed off, and gets to vent his rage. That said, if you aren’t specifically a fan of the Hulk, then this one would be a tough read, as he is everywhere in it. Therefore: 3 out of 5 stars.
The Preamble: Remember that alien race I mentioned, called the Skrulls? Well, they are shape-shifters, and it turns out they weren’t quite as gone as everyone thought. In fact, they’ve spent years infiltrating Earth, with a focus on the superhero community, and now they are ready to enact the final phases of their plan, the conquest of Earth. So the thing you Illuminati actually assembled yourselves to prevent? THAT is happening, regardless of how many Hulks you shoot into space. …Morons. You had ONE job Stark. ONE.
Secret Invasion
The Heroes: Hard to say. Everyone big and small is in this one, even Thor, but then, some of them aren’t really them after all, but cleverly disguised Skrulls. Still, there is no lack of spandex in this, as superheroes big small and virtually forgotten come out of the woodwork to defend Earth via titanic battles that mostly happen in New York City.
The History:
Side story here: When the Skrulls first showed up in the Marvel universe, they fought the Fantastic Four, and Mister Fantastic pulled a Puss in Boots on them, by tricking them into shape-shifting into cows, then making them forget they weren’t cows (granted, that isn’t QUITE what Puss does to the giant, but you get the idea). He then LEAVES those cows in a field, and never thinks about them again, until some people wind up eating the ground Skrull-chuck they get made into, and wind up with weird powers. Perhaps this guy should NOT be involved in any attempts at forward thinking in future, Tony. Okay, NOW to history: Skrulls = bad space aliens whose home-world got eaten by Galactus. That’s it.
The Story: Searching for a new home-world, the Skrull Queen has chosen Earth, due to convoluted prophecy stuff, and has spent years retconning …er infiltrating agents into positions of trust and power (THIS is why Movie Tony’s Jarvis is a computer. Squishy flesh Jarvis’s can be replaced!). They undermine the heroes at every turn, turning them against each other whenever possible, sowing dissent, and basically being shifty spy jerks whenever possible. Their queen is even a member of the Avengers, whose recent boob growth suddenly makes more sense (what? If YOU could shape-shift, you know you would, at least sometimes). Also the Skrulls have an admittedly awesome cadre of super Skrulls, each of whom get a bunch of different powers from existing Marvel heroes (see how many you can figure out. Maybe make it a drinking game!) Everyone eventually manages to flush the Skrulls out into the open, free the heroes they captured (and conveniently had to keep alive for their undetectable shape-shifting to work), and trick them into the traditional giant Central Park rumble. Wasp grows giant sized and implodes for some reason, and everything is fine again.
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How drunk are you?
The Verdict:
It is a hoot. Seriously, more so than most of the crossovers, you need to clock your suspension of disbelief into overdrive for this one, because they rewrite a lot of things that happened previously as they go to explain some gaps in common sense (okay, NOW I see where Nicholas Cage can fit in), but if you can manage that, it is a rollercoaster ride of brobdingnagian proportions, where you don’t know who not to trust until they start turning green (Skrulls are green, btw). Therefore: 3 out of 5, though 1 of those 3 is actually a shape-shifted Skrull agent with Cyclops optic blasts, Wolverine claws, and Reed Richard’s inability to consider the obvious consequences of his actions.
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