RECAP:

We’re introduced to the city, Neo Yokio, in an late eighties-style tourism video which highlights the cultural achievements of the city.

It had me at Vivaldi.

It talks about the demonic attacks that began in the 18th century in NY, and how the mayor brought in an entire class of people through the exorcists enlisted to help the city back then. They are now part of the city’s elite, “adding to our rich cultural tapestry,” or rich people code for the people who are not -quite- as good as they are.

This introduction is brilliant, not only does it set the tone for the show, but also immediately shows the city’s nonchalance with it’s demon problem and the classicism rampant in the city. This caught my attention immediately.

Also, who doesn’t love an entire group of quasi-elites (demon-slayers) with pink hair?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwc6fTnsdBI

The credits.

We open on a ladies’ tennis club. Or it’s a tennis club, and only ladies are playing. Who knows? After a few moments watching them play, we see Charles, our mecha-butler, and Kaz Khaan, our main character. Kaz is slumped on a bench, listlessly watching the ladies play. Charles gives Kaz his watch that’s been fixed that afternoon. A Cartier watch. This moment is important, because it’s Kaz’s introduction, and his first interaction with his favorite pastime – FASHION!

Kaz reveals that it’s a watch his ex-girlfriend, Cathy, gave him. They’ve recently parted ways so that she could take a job on the West Coast. An investment banker in San Fransisco, which Kaz calls a glamorous life. All of this to set his tone as a melancholy gentleman, the perfect example of what it means to have loads of time on your hands and loads of money.

He seemilngly carelessly throws the watch to the ground, stories below. Charles interjects. “Sir, I understand that matters of the heart are mysterious and profound. But destroying a 1919 Cartier watch is well… a bit imprudent.”

Introducing: Lexy and Gottlieb. Kaz’s friends walk over to him, field-hockey sticks in hand. They tell Kaz to suck it up, they have a big match against the East Side Gentlemen that evening. Kaz says he can’t negotioate the time between meals, let alone the “labyrinth” of the field hockey field. LOL. This leads to them goading him more, and my favorite line of the episode. “Win, lose, we’ll all be equal in the grave.”

Charles reminds Kaz they have a lunch appointment with his Aunt Agatha, and although Kaz protests, they end up going. Landing in front of a gelateria, Kaz bemoans the fact that Cathy loved ice cream. Charles encourages Kaz to cheer up, now that he’s single, he’s on the bachelor board in Times Square.

WTF. Bachelor board? Ok. Apparently this world includes a ranking system in which men are rated in public. Gentlemen. I’m hoping it’s explained more in future seasons – by what method are they ranked? What age do they enter the competition? How do you become a gentleman? Are you born into it? Do you have to have a certain economic standing? These are very important questions. WHO IS RUNNING THE BOARD?! Can you imagine being the person who has to change who’s on top? What kind of life to they lead? OMG. Just had an idea for a spin-off.

ANYWAY. We look at the bachelor board, and see Kaz is second to Archangelo Corelli, the leader of the ESG. Kaz is very upset, and says two is the lonliest number when you’re second to a jackass. Ha.

Kaz goes into the restaurant, late for his appointment, where the writers make a vague joke about Kaz not having a watch. I liked it. “Don’t you have watch?” Aunt Agatha bites. She reminds him that he’s got a job to do, he’s not like the other elites in the city. She’s got a job for him, helping the recently possessed Helena St. Tesserau eradicate her demon.

When Kaz protests because of his broken heart, Aunt Agatha further makes delineation between the “magistocracy,” and the East Siders. “They’ll always think of us as neauveau riches.”

Aunt Agatha forces Kaz to face his duties, because without their job of eradicating demons, they are nothing. They have to earn their keep, not only financially, but their place in the city. “You wicked boy… you have to work to support your wretched lifestyle!” And the waiter sets down two pieces of tiramisu. Cue my laughter.

The next scene opens on Kaz choosing a new suit, as only he could. He’s blindfolded, touching the suits to get one with material he likes. Archangelo enters, and they have some silly interchange. While in the dressing rooms, Archangelo makes fun of the fact that Kaz has to work for money and can’t come to the field hockey game, calling him a “Neo-Riche loser.” Kaz gets mad and blasts him through the wall. Seems like a balanced reaction. Kaz then announces he’ll see Archangelo at the game that night.

Kaz reveals to Charles that he thinks he’ll be able to do the job and play in the game because he did so well blasting Archangelo through the wall, as they wait for bubble transport to take them to Helena’s townhouse below 14th Street.

So, if anyone’s keeping track, we have a magistocracy which expels demons, a bachelor board, ESG vs. WSG, a robot-butler, and now, bubble transportation to take you below the water. To some fancy-ass townhouses. Where possessed people live.

Our introduction to the Helenists: girls from Helena’s school who follow her fashion blog religiously. Next are Helena’s parents, of which the father had my favorite line. “It’s so out of character for her. She never cavorts with wraiths or demons.” They reveal that Helena started acting differently after she returned home from a trip to see the fall collection at Chanel, where the Prime Minister of Chanel gave her a suit.

The Prime Minister. Of Chanel.

Kaz goes up to Helena’s room to see her, still decked out in her Chanel suit, where she floats in a giant purple bubble. “This is awkward,” Kaz says to a non-responsive Helena. “I haven’t seen you since that party… where we hooked up.”

Kaz tries to touch the suit, his fabrics fetish, but is blocked by the demon. After a second attempt, a singed Kaz storms out of the room. He declares he’s unable to help, so Helena’s parents kick him out of the house.

Kaz’s inability to eradicate the demon sets him from second on the bachelor board, to 7th. Immediately after he leaves the house. SERIOUSLY WHO IS IN CHARGE?!

Charles suggests a Toblerone bar to cheer up Kaz, but Kaz says he wants to visit “the grave.” Next we see them, two dozen roses in hand, in an elevator which opens to a graveyard. Kaz walks along a long row of Kaan gravestones until he comes to his own.

“You’ve designed yourself a beautiful grave, sir,” Charles says.

“I’m going to rest for a bit,” Kaz replies AND LAYS DOWN ON TOP OF IT.

This show is amazing. Seriously, my heart.

Kaz is revived by the scent of a perfume an older gentleman is spraying on his dead wife’s grave.
Their conversation quickly devolves into Kaz saying the gentleman’s choice of perfume is too basic and he should find something more unique, like Helena St. Tesserau would wear, because everything she wears is unique, just like that Chanel suit which was custom made for her. By golly! It probably didn’t go through the same rigorous security procedures everything else does. Kaz realizes it’s the suit, and not Helena, that is possessed.

When Kaz returns to the sea below, the demon taunts him, throwing him against the glass ceiling, which cracks under the water pressure above it and begins to fill the room. (Quick logistics question – if a body being slammed against some glass breaks it when it was under that much water pressure, wouldn’t it have broken before? And when it DOES break, wouldn’t it destroy the house… eh. I guess considering that in the last scene, Kaz was lying on his own grave, it doesn’t seem that far-fetched. He was born in 1997, BTW. He’s 20.) Kaz hurls the demon from the Chanel suit, knocking a scantily clad Helena to the floor. But the demon isn’t gone. It pulls Kaz into the air, leaving Helena helpless to the water covering her face. The demon encircles Kaz in a bubble, and for a brief moment it seems like he’ll be bested by the tricky purple bubble. But he focuses his energy, and pops the bubble, diving back into the water to save Helena. They float down the hallway, and end up on the stairs below. The water magically stops. Because, why not?

Helena coughs, and sits up, remarking how she hasn’t seen him since the party in the Hamptons (when they hooked up). Kaz asks why she never called, and she says he’d started dating Cathy. He says they broke up. “Well, maybe now I’ll call you,” she says, sitting there soaking in her underwear.

Uh-huh.

Cut to the field hockey match. Did you forget about it? The WSG are down two points, and Archangelo flips his hair confidently, telling them to pack it up and go home. Kaz shows up at the last minute, saving the game. “A true gentleman excels at both work and leisure,” Kaz says of his success. He calls for Vivaldi’s concerto in Eb major.

He is now at the top of the bachelor board.

Ok, two things. First, the music. This show is brilliantly underscored to show Kaz’s listless, withering nature with adagio movements by Vivaldi. The other moment I loved in this episode, musically speaking, is when the ESG show up and have some bebop-esque jazz playing in the background. It’s such a different feel than the slow moving early music, it immediately gives off the group’s arrogance and flippant treatment of everything and everyone around them.

Second, the voice actors used for this show! I’m sure I’ll go into detail later about more of the actors and their portrayal of the characters, but the winner by far of this episode is Richard Ayoade, as the salesclerk at Bergdorf’s. Not only is he painfully adorable in the scene at the shop, his feeble “I love sports!” at the WSG’s win made my heart soar. Admittedly, I am biased for the actor who won my heart in the IT crowd. But, you know, he’s awesome. So there.

Let me know what you think! Is there a future for Kaz and Helena? Does Charles really go faster than the bubble traffic?

WSG out.

Team Z – League of Heroes is a brand new mobile game released by Genera Games that is a superhero themed turn-based tactical game. You can summon Superheroes and create your own team to fight against villains in Cubepolis. Through these battles you earn experience to level your heroes and raise their power. You can evolve them, enhance their skills, and equip them with nanochips to boost their stats. You can also take your team online to fight against other players to get the First Division title. There is a lot of different things you can do in the game and it makes as a nice time passer when you sitting on the bus or train.

Team Z is actually pretty fun to play as a turn-based tactical game. Gameplay consists of heroes of 5 different colors: red, blue, green, white, and purple. Certain colors have advantages over each other. For example, blue heroes are weak against green, green weak against red and red weak against blue. White and purple characters are strong against each other. This makes team building simple yet also challenging when you have to consider what colors you should bring to battle.

However, what colors you get are all up to RNG. Heroes are ranked in stars and you summon them by using cubes. Regular cubes summon 1-3 star heroes while super cubes summon 3-5 star heroes. Most of the time you get 1-2 star silver fodder creatures that can really only be used to feed your gold star heroes. After 2 hours of playing the game and at least 60 cubes into it (mostly bought off the market with free gems and coins) I’ve only gotten 6 heroes with two being duplicates, two blue, one purple, and one green. It’s a high cost, low reward system that’s intended to tempt you into spending real money.

The hero summoning system is the same as any other game in its genre, which will make it hard to stand out against its competitors like Fire Emblem Heroes or Puzzles and Dragons. While Fire Emblem Heroes has it’s already built fanbase behind it, Team Z uses familiarity with western pop culture characters and superhero characters. Some characters you can tell were based off another character in pop culture. For example, Bowman has a striking resemblance to Marvel’s Hawkeye, Huntercat to X-Men’s Wolverine, and Zeno is basically a Xenomorph. It’s possible to have a team of just Zenos just all different colors, but you’ll have to go through a lot of cubes before you can get them all.

The game uses 3D graphics and most of the human characters have square heads that remind me too much of Minecraft or Clash of Clans. The cartoony designs and cheesy names of the heroes would definitely appeal to a younger generation audience but for me, the art style really wasn’t catching my interest. However, the silly, cartoony art style fits the superhero theme very well so I can appreciate the work Genera Games has put into crafting this world full of gags.

Overall, the game is fun to play. The battles have a level of difficulty to them and you really have to consider what colors and kinds of superheroes you need to bring. A few times I found myself losing because I didn’t spread out my colors enough. The parodies of popular superhero and villain icons really add charm to the game. Anyone who enjoys superheroes or turn based tactical games should definitely try Team Z, which is available on the Google Play and App Store for free.

Rick and Morty: Season 3, Episode 10

First off, let’s just state that ten episodes is just not enough. I’m kind of pissed that we’re already at the finale of Rick and Morty season three, but I’m pretty stoked to see what’s in store. I mean, we’ve come along way from the Real Animated Adventures of Doc and Mharti. What the eff is that, you ask? It’s where Rick and Morty got their very humble beginnings and they look…far more primitive that what we get to guiltily love today.

If you take some time to watch those clips, you’ll see that the character that’s had the most of an overhaul is “Mharti,” now the more commonly spelled “Morty.” The Mharti punching bag was the primary hold up in creating the Adult Swim show, not the fact that the family’s last name was, and is still, Smith (somehow?), and it took the evolution into Morty, into a much more nuanced character with the ability to defy Rick, that cinched the deal on the three seasons we are fortunate enough to enjoy.

And now, here we are, at Season 3, Episode 10, The Rickchurian Mortydate and mostly all I’m thinking about now is how we don’t know any more about Evil Morty. If you were hoping, for whatever reason, that we would know more, I’m sad to say that we don’t, but what we do get is an interestingly (political?) episode where Rick and Morty help out a caricature-Obama-esque president with an alien problem in the White House Kennedy Sex Tunnel. We get the feeling that this has been going on for a while, that there have been visits to a Lincoln Slave Colosseum, that Morty has wanted a selfie the entire time, and that Obama-like president won’t fucking take one with him.

Rick and Morty ditch their duties and play Minecraft instead when they realize that neither of them is enjoying their White-House-alien-hunting. It’s one of those moments where you actually see Rick giving a modicum of a crap about Morty, claiming that he kept agreeing to help out the President because he thought that Morty thought it was cool. It’s a hot second of a moment that makes you go “aw-” but abruptly cuts off with the quickly following query of, “Do you think autistic people like Minecraft?” There’s a weird moment where Morty shoots him down, like, ah, man, why you gotta say stuff like that? And Rick insinuates the he is autistic?

I have no idea what that means or it’s future implications, but I thought it was worthy of note. Take it or forget it. We can add it to the Morty Mind Blowers. Are there any of those even left in that room?

Anyway, they amp up Minecraft in their traditional Rick-and-Morty way and then get a notification about a new type of alien settlement in Brazil. Game on, because, ya know, somewhere along the line Rick and Morty became like a call-me-beep-me-when-you-wanna-reach-me type of duo. Ambassadors Rick and Morty. It’s got a ring to it. Now they just need some cargo pants and crop sweaters.

It’s a pretty hilarious shitshow after this. Rick and Morty just spend the entire episode fucking with the Obama-esque president, albeit, to be real, a very hostile caricature of Obama. Like, we all know Barry Obama has a good sense of humor, and he’s a pretty good sport to boot, so I’m not sure about the liberal usage of “goddamn it” and “shit” and “asshole,” or whether or not this is supposed to be a mocking of a version of Obama that “doesn’t want pants because [he] has a need to swing his dick around,” but, whatever the reasoning, it’s pretty damn hilarious. Rick and Morty get to show off literally just how advanced they are in comparison to the government, as demonstrated by 70’s-reminiscent shrinking pills that don’t diminutize the clothes, and the fact that Rick and Morty not only make peace with the new alien settlement, but then go on to take Israel and Palestinian leaders to smoke perspective-enhancing drugs and convince them to call a permanent ceasefire.

This all really amplifies Rick’s chaotic neutral status — he only does things if they benefit him, even if it’s just to satisfy his uncharacteristic affection for Morty. Typically, what he wants results in effing up everyone else’s lives, but it’s not out of any set of evil intentions. It’s just Rick caring only about Rick. In this case, it benefits him to do everything better than the Pres, which results in him doing a world of good.

While this is going on, we still can’t really tell whether Beth is still, well, Beth. And, funny enough, she can’t either. She approves of a scantily clad Summer who looks like a country bumpkin that may or may not have a Cersei/Jamie Lanister thing going on, but whatever. Summer declares she’s like “a whole new person!” Beth’s uncertainty leads her to call her father, smoking said perspective-enhancing drugs, to ask him about the whole thing and he kindly tells her that she’s not a clone, and then proceeds to ask if she’s concerned that he’ll have to take her out now that she’s self-aware. This propels her right to Jerry and, well, I mean, we know from the second she enters the apartment that there’s going to be a kiss and they’re going to get back together. Ya know.

Once all of that’s taken care of, Rick and Morty take up residence in the Oval Office and just wait for the Pres and his crew to arrive. Rick gives his ultimatum: take a selfie with my grandson or I’m your newest roommate. Permanently. Pres refuses. Morty says he really doesn’t give a single crap about the selfie anymore. He’s legitimately so over it after everything, but Rick won’t let it go. Commense the long-ass fighting scene. I’ve never been a fan, nor cared much about long fight scenes, like the thing with the fucking chicken in Family Guy. The longest went on for over five minutes! I do have a couple comments about this fight scene, though, like the Avatar-esque mechanism the Pres hops into. Even weirder, the two blonde children that come out of compartments in the wall and are pupil-less evil mofos controlled by a dog whistle?

Bypassing that.

By the time the fight is over, Morty has stolen Rick’s portal gun and has found his family so that they can take refuge from Rick. Rick bargains with the Pres to use his janky portal and promises that the Pres will never see him again. Alright. In true Rick fashion, he surprises no one by showing up with a rather sizeable gun he wants to kill Jerry with. Once we’re all sorted, Rick promises that Beth is his daughter, etc, he wants to grab Morty and head off to another dimension. Morty won’t go and we’re presented with another moment that shows just how not-Mharti Morty really is.

Rick immediately dons a dumb fishing hat and meets with the Pres to say he’s at his service. Not like that other Rick. Definitely different Ricks. For sure. Yeah.

Failing me a little bit here with the predictability, but Beth and Jerry return to being a “happy” couple and there’s even a fourth wall break here about how it’s a return to Season 1! It’s a poignant comment on how Beth views her father’s world: she’s rejected it. She was given the opportunity to do just as her father had done: abandon her designated universe, explore her intelligence, and really accept Rick’s outlook that life is meaningless so embracing nihilistic intelligence isn’t a crime. She’s decided, instead, to live in ignorant bliss, with simple, very simple Jerry. It’s escapism at its finest, and the question, for season four, is going to be: just how tenuous is this existence?

Before we close this out, Morty’s evolution in this episode is pretty important. Not once is he depicted as whiney, annoying, or obnoxiously fuddy. Hell, he gets some true zingers in this episode, including, but not limited to, “Commander in Queef,” and ultimately controls Rick’s decision to remain in the current version of Earth. Slowly, over the course of three seasons, we’ve watching Morty develop from an unwilling, kidnapped teen on Grandpa Rick’s fucked up adventures to a willing participant with actual influence over the events transpiring. Whether or not anybody needed it, asked for it, or wanted it, Rick and Morty actually has a host of nuanced, well-developed characters that are following a distinct arc of growth and development.

And this is what happens when someone who’s spent eight years of her life in higher education looks too deeply into an adult cartoon. Let’s just order a drone strike to handle our insecurities and move on.